It's time

Wow, there I go again, totally not updating my blog regularly as I should be. Not cool, Amanda, not cool.

Life over the past month has just been relatively relaxing and I've been trying not to test the system or muddy the waters or whatever...I like this peace and I would like for it to stay that way for as long as possible before my world explodes into things like labor and a pooping baby and the mangling of nipples in October. NIPPLES. I said it.

The clouds sort of feel like they've been lifted since I no longer have the threat of "My dad is dying from cancer" hanging over my head. It's been replaced with other worries about him, but those worries regarding his recovery seem much smaller now that, you know, he doesn't have a huge fucking tumor growing on his liver anymore. He has been readmitted to the hospital due to some fluid build-up and a persistent lack of appetite that's resulted in him losing a whole lot of weight and a whole lot of muscle mass, but his surgeon has him on a plan for physical rehabilitation (in-patient if his insurance company approves it, at home if not). Recovery from a surgery like the one he had takes months, many months, and now it's just a waiting game to see when he'll turn that corner. But I (and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way) would much rather wait for that corner instead of the drop off the edge of a cliff that we were waiting and fearing before.

Add to that the fact that the June Fucking Gloom is FINALLY gone and life doesn't seem so dark and disturbing.

Plus, Edgar and I made our baby registries this weekend at Target and Babies R Us, and who doesn't love a good registry? There's something about the power of that scanner gun and finding all of the stuff that you need and going "Oooooooooooh, look at this!" and "Awwwwwww, oh my god we have to get him this!" that just makes you melt inside. That melting feeling is good when you need to take the edge off the fact that you just spent over $350 in one shot on baby clothes (but you saved over $120 with the sale that was going on, so that makes it ok, right? Right? RIGHT?). I'm going to look at it this way....the child needs clothes. It's money that had to be spent. And this way we can register for the other essential stuff that we need and don't have to tell people, "Ok, now I need 6 month clothes, buy 6 months clothes. NO! No more 3 month clothes, I don't need 3 month clothes!"

Now the only trick is just getting people to buy off of the registries. I REALLY hate when you make a registry and people don't buy off of it or give you a gift card. The point of the registry is to say "This is what I need/want." It's not to say "Please don't buy me these things and instead buy me what you think I need/want, even though I know better. And also, please definitely don't include a gift receipt so that I have to look like an ungrateful asshole when I ask for it or else suffer in silence because I'm too embarrassed to do so." When we got married, Edgar and I took the time to make two different gift registries. Most people stuck to them; they either bought off the registry or sent us gift cards or money. But some random aunt of Edgar's went out and bought us this ludicrous centerpiece flower/candle combo thing WHICH WE WILL NEVER USE and didn't even give us a receipt to go along with it. I appreciate the gesture of giving a gift, and I don't mean to sound selfish, but COME ON. Come freakin' on. These registries are made for a reason. My mother-in-law doesn't understand my persistence on this point; when I was talking to her the other day regarding my baby shower, I made the point to tell her when she sends out the invitations to include the little inserts that say where I'm registered, and that if her friends ask her for suggestions on what to buy that she tells them to buy off of the registry. And she's all "Well, but....well, if they want to buy something else they should!" and I'm all "No. No. RE-GIS-TRY. Registry. We made them for a point, we are giving a clear guide of what we need. People do not need to waste their money buying something that we don't need or want, because they won't even have the courtesy to give us a receipt. REGISTRY."

I still don't think she gets it. And maybe it makes me sound selfish. But if I'm going to a wedding or going to a baby shower, I would NEVER buy something that the bride/groom or mommy-to-be/daddy-to-be didn't register for. I would buy them a gift off the registry, or get them a gift card to one of the stores that they registered at, or just give them a check or cash. I would NEVER be like "Well, I think I know better than you what you want and/or need so I'm going to ignore the very nice and helpful list that you spent the time creating and get you something totally off-base."

I think it's partially a generational thing as well, because I think that's how most of the people in my age group feel. No offense to anyone in the world intended, but I think that it's mainly the older generation that just doesn't get it or refuses to get it. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE YOUNG ENOUGH TO HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT, YOU'RE YOUNG ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BUY OFF A REGISTRY.

Whew, that rant came out of nowhere.

Moving on. Moving riiiiiight along. Back to what I was talking about before. Oh yes, relaxation.

Right now is the calm before the storm at my job.....the summer months are slow leading up to when August 1st hits and all hell breaks loose, so I'm really trying to enjoy the pace that I'm at right now before everything goes crazy again. Couple that with the fact that I'm officially in my third trimester (HOLY GOD, I'M HAVING A BABY) and that my body is about to turn on me and I'm treasuring these moments while I still have them.

I'm perpetually tired all the time, so I'm taking that as a sign that nature is preparing me for the fact that after October I will not be getting a good night's sleep for, oh, say, EIGHTEEN YEARS. My belly has also officially protruded enough that it is becoming difficult for me to move in some of the ways I used to. And I miss my old center of gravity. I don't think I have a new one yet, so I'm just kind of wobbling and wavering out here. Plus, the only way I'm comfortable when I sleep is on my back. I've talked about it before--I WANT TO SLEEP ON MY BACK. But I'm not allowed to sleep on my back and so I sleep on my side, or, more accurately, I fail to sleep on my side, and it's all a huge mess.

A few weeks ago somebody asked me how my pregnancy has been up to this point, and I was like "You know, I'll dare say pleasant." The universe has struck me down, because the last couple of weeks have brought on the unpleasantness, at least relatively to what I was experiencing before. It's nothing catastrophic....I'm not the co-worker of Edgar's that has been experiencing morning sickness so severe that she can't even smell food without throwing up, I'm not the family friend who is only three months along yet is already leaking from her breasts. Compared to them, I'm totally ok. I'm just getting uncomfortable. And I'm slightly anemic now, which means that I've had to start taking additional iron supplements. And for those of you that have ever taken iron supplements before....I miss pooping like a normal person. Really. It's totally uncool.

So here I am, two trimesters under my belt, one more to go, baby clothes debt piling up around my ankles, starting to freak out just a teensy bit about what I've gotten myself into. In a good way. I would make tomorrow October 11th if I could. Because even though I think it's absolutely ridiculous that the universe is going to let me take a baby home and raise it I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT.