Never a good thing

You know what is never a good thing? Waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and then as you're stumbling in the dark to put some flip flops on (because the goddamn cat seems to think LITTER PARTY every time the lights go out and then before you know it you're barefoot with cat litter stuck between your toes when all you innocently wanted to do was pee without searing your eyeballs by turning the bathroom light on) deciding that you're thirsty and taking a drink of water out of the bottle that you have next to the bed, because as you start to fall over from losing your balance because that's the kind of thing that you don't have in the middle of the night, you might just sneeze and spray your mouthful of water, along with a nice quantity of snot, all over your pillow.

That? That's never a good thing.