I don't do anal

Having gotten myself into a spot of debt problems (called STOP BUYING SHOES AND OTHER SHIT) I decided after Christmas in 2007 that I was going to go debt fee. Mind you, this was before all of the "Aaack! Oh my god, recession! Cut up your credit cards and run for your lives!!" talk and was prompted by my realization that I would one day like to own a house instead of renting an apartment and that if I didn't start working on a down payment now I would never get there. I've been largely successful (at the paying off debt part, not the saving part). I essentially stopped using my credit cards and paid off a few store cards, leaving me with one student loan and three 'real' credit cards with balances. One balance was small, around $600ish. The other two cards were higher; one tottered around $4000 and the other around $3500. I paid off the largest card in the summer of 2008 using part of a generous early-wedding gift that my grandmother gave Edgar and me. I paid the $600ish card off in April using my tax refund. I had planned on that tax refund to go towards the other large card, but Bank of America forced my hand when they increased the interest rate on the card (which I had never ever once paid late on). Not long after that I got a notice from the other card where I had paid the large balance off that they, too, were increasing my interest rate.

No problem, I thought. I have my one "big" card left and even though it's still got a high balance it has a limit of $6000 so if I ever have an emergency I'm fine. I happily went about my business. Happily going about my business has ended up increasing the balance on that card though; add up that day you realized that your wedding china was on sale with free pieces thrown in for purchasing a certain amount with that time in Solvang where your husband got you drunk and made you think it would be an EXCELLENT time to sign up for a wine club with that other time you needed to buy a new laptop, and it all equals Damn I Thought I Was Supposed to be Paying This Thing Off.

No problem, I thought. I pay more than my minimum balance each month, maybe not double but always more, and it's still not a big deal because I have a huge cushion on the card for emergencies. And a great interest rate of 9.99%. You see where this is going, right?

About a week ago I read an article online talking about credit card practices that some banks are pushing through ahead of all of the credit card regulation that's going to be happening in the next year. One of those detailed a certain bank that would be greatly increasing the interest rates of even their good customers, offering them "rebates" on their interest the next month if they paid on time and/or spent a certain amount every month. Didn't sound too great for me. I don't want to use my credit card anymore, and this article talked about how a person (whose description was very similar to mine) would have to put over $750/month on the card to break even on the "rebates." All in all, not a good deal. Seeing as this article was talking about the bank for my "big" credit card, I crossed my fingers and hoped that it would not apply to me.

I was wrong.

I got a notice yesterday from the bank that my interest rate would be increasing to 29.99%. YES, THAT IS TWENTY-NINE POINT NINE NINE PERCENT. I mentioned my current interest rate is 9.99%, right? That is TRIPLE my interest rate. Let me repeat, I have never ever been late on one single payment. EVER.

Oh, but wait, the bank says. The bank says, hey, if you pay your minimum payment on time, you can get a 65% rebate on your interest. We won't give it to you until the statement date of your next month's statement, so we're totally going to screw you up the a-hole for the daily periodic interest rate for two months, but LOOK. SIXTY FIVE PERCENT!

Hello, bank? It's me. Do you realize that I'm not stupid? Do you realize that you will be DOUBLING my minimum payment because of this? And that you're an absolute fuckhead because of the fact that instead of letting me opt out of the interest rate increase and just pay the account off while not using the card anymore, you're actually requiring the account to be closed if I opt out? Unlike any other credit card company where you can opt out under the agreement and pay your card off at your current rate but keep it open and if you ever use it again you automatically accept that higher interest rate? Do you realize that I know you know that I don't want to close the account out because it has a high credit limit and closing the card will slash my credit score because my available credit will plummet? Do you realize that I know you know I know this and that you've intentionally selected my account for this position because I have a good credit score and am obviously the type of person that would want to preserve it and you know you can play me?

I swore to myself when I started this blog that I was not going to ever mention by name my current or any former employers. To quote Chandler on Friends: Can...open. Worms....everywhere! Too much trouble can come of it. But I've decided to change my stance on this just this one time because I am so super pissed off and because I never intend to go back to the mortgage/insurance industry. I'm comfortable burning this bridge.

FUCK YOU CITIBANK! FIRST YOU LAY ME OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A GODDAMN RECESSION AND THEN YOU COME BACK TO POUR SALT ON THE WOUND? WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FUCKING LEMON JUICE TOO?