I live in Long Beach, I can learn how to throw down

I think that a parking lot war is about to begin at work. I feel it in my bones.

I've written before about the unwritten rules of parking etiquette at work. The jist of the notion is that most people, even when not assigned a parking spot, find a comfortable spot that they like to park in every day when they go to work and then park in said space every day. It's a habit. A routine action. All of my co-workers do it. Tell me who you're looking for, and I will tell you what spot they park in. There are tons of other cars in the lot that I don't know who their drivers are, but I know that they park in the same spot every day.

But, BUT, there is some jackass that is totally messing up my parking routine. I have been parking in the same spot for six months. When I first started working this job, I would bounce around the parking lot, trying out a new spot every day until I found the one that worked for me. And once I found it, I stuck with it, and I park there all the time. I didn't steal anyone else's spot. There's nothing special about this parking spot. But that is not the point. Who can say why people choose to park in the same spot every day? I don't know, it must be a chemical thing. You don't park in your neighbor's garage, do you?

For the past two weeks, there has been some loser in an old-model silver Honda CRV that has been trying to take my spot. And every day that they don't get it, they park in the spot on the driver's side of my car. And every time they do that, they keep moving further and further across the double white line separating the parking spaces making it harder and harder every day for me to get in my car. It's as if they're taunting me, saying "How long you gonna take it, huh? Give me the damn spot now and this all can be over!"

I WILL NOT TAKE THIS PARKING SPOT BULLYING! I wish I knew who it was. It's not one of my co-workers, but we are in a fairly small office suite in a four story building. And it irks me as I sit at my desk every day that somewhere in that same building is a motherfucker that doesn't understand parking spot etiquette.

STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY SPACE LEST MY KEYS MAGICALLY SCRAPE YOUR DOOR.