What do you write to follow up that one?
How about this:
This morning when I was walking from my apartment building to the parking garage on the next block where I park my lovely Red Neon, this woman walking about 10 feet in front of me on the sidewalk with a stroller kept whipping her head around and shooting daggers at me with her eyes.
Lady, chill the fuck out. At that hour of the morning my eyes are barely open. I really don't think that me and my red lunch box were of any danger to you. I want nothing to do with your child. Because it wasn't cute.
And besides, I wait to start mugging people until I've had at least a few vodka tonics in me.
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