That sound this morning? The one where you were like "What the hell is that? No really, what was it? Should we be scared?" Were you wondering what that sound around 7:00 this morning was? That was my head exploding.
It goes like this:
I was driving to work this morning. There are two big bridges that I have to cross on my way to the freeway. On the first bridge, each side begins as three lanes and then the two right lanes merge a little way up. Before I reached the base of the bridge, I could see that somewhere up around where those two lanes merged that there were flashing lights and some stopped cars. I got in the left lane, as I normally do, but I notice a semi-truck merging from another lane that connects to the bridge before where the accident was was. Me, being surprisingly nice and giving for that time of morning, I decided to be cool and leave the space between me and the car in front of me for that semi, because I figured that he was going to have to get all the way over to get around the accident. He didn't get over. And I'd just like to note that I left ample time for him to move over before what happened next. Since he hadn't gone, I figured that he didn't have to get over into the far left lane, that the middle lane was not being blocked by the accident. So I sped up a little, catching up to the car in front of me. At which point, THE SEMI DRIVER STARTS TO COME OVER IN MY LANE. And I'm talking come over into my lane in a way that if I hadn't slammed on my brakes, if I had gone forward even two inches further, this guy would have creamed me against a concrete barrier. My throat, being very froggy in the morning because of this head cold that I can't seem to shake, croaked out "What the FUCK?!" in a way that sounded liked a barking dog as I slammed my fist into my horn until the semi had pulled past me. Cops be damned, I was using that horn. And then, AND THEN, once the semi had moved back to the other lane after he cleared the accident, and I drove past him, HE had the AUDACITY to flip ME off. And I was like "Oh no, oh no, FUCK YOU, Mr. Semi Driver, you take THIS finger!" I swear, I wanted to be one of those crazy people who would stop her car on top of that bridge, forcing him to stop, in order for me to get out and yell at him that no, you did not get the right to flip me off, since you are the one that is A COMPLETE AND TOTAL DICKWAD. I'm the one that was being a courteous driver and left plenty of space for you to move over, but then you didn't.
Excuse me, China Shipping? You have a driver out that right now that NEEDS HIS BALLS CUT OFF.
What's the point of this story? That there is NO POINT IN BEING A NICE DRIVER, BECAUSE YOU JUST GET FLIPPED OFF ANYWAYS.
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