Family ties

When I was a kid, my brother liked to abuse me.

Case Point #1: When I was baby, the type of baby that is too small to do anything much but sit there and drool, he and my sister would throw toys into my crib, thinking that I could play with them. He would aim at my head.

Case Point #2: When I was less than a year old, Ryan was lying on his back on the living room floor. He, being the hulk-tastic strong five year old that he was, tried to lift me over his head as I was crawling on him like a jungle gym. He lifted his arms straight up in the air, perpendicular to his body......and then they just kept going. Back over his head, baby and all, promptly smacking my head into the floor. I know this because MY PARENTS CAUGHT IT ON VIDEOTAPE. How about not letting your hyperactive son try to give permanent brain damage to his little sister? Huh? How about that?

Case Point #3: When I was about two years old, Ryan was playing in the backyard. Remember those swing sets that had the slide at one end, then two swings, then the teeter-totter thingy, then that carriage thing where you can sit facing each other while someone pushes you? We had one of those. I wandered into the backyard, and Ryan yelled "Come here!" And me, forgetting that he had once dropped me on my head (OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE OF ALL OF THAT BRAIN DAMAGE IT CAUSED), I ran straight for him like "Ryan! My big brother! You're so cool, let's play with toys and eat sand!" He pulled the carriage thing back and the swung it (or slammed it, if you want to be specific) right into my face, giving me a bloody nose. And then he promptly started to cry and sob "I didn't mean it, Mommy!" so that he wouldn't get in trouble. Jerk.

Case Point #4: When I was about 10, he was wrestling me in the kitchen. The kitchen with the linoleum floor. Having me pinned on the ground, he had his foot near my hair. He also had his foot on top of some hair. I was trying to get away. I jerked my head. A huge clump of hair with just a little bit of scalp still attached ripped out of my head.

I kicked him in the balls one time. Hard. We're probably even.